Here is the thing. Its not that I don't want to do a good job but crying over the perfect email is exhausting and a hundred years from, who is going to care? The upside in thinking in the terms of eternity is that, when is this going to matter? the downside is that others really do care, today, right now. Yesterday, I came home in tears and no one was around to share my experience. The hubby is TDY in South Korea supposedly miserable and wishing to be home, at least, that's what I think he said but it was too loud at the restaurant he was at with his friends. Amanda is usually good for a quick laugh but she was still at work and that is pretty much my circle. Well, that's not true, I have others in my circle but no one was around. So there I was, sitting on my couch, crying.
The dilemma of perfection is that it doesn't exist. I feel that no matter what I do, it will never be perfect. The issue is, I'm not chasing perfectionism but I'm around others that do. I don't understand because the only people who would notice are typically ones that no one really likes anyway. Its all for show and its for an unappreciative audience. Even if my words, grammar and message was perfectly clear and exact, no one will ever say "Hey, I wanted to let you know that I read your email and was profoundly pleased on how perfect it was." No, most people will skim the content, hit reply and write "works for me" and on to the next. Is that not how it has become, a tell me what you need so I can move on with my life approach. Its a series of short emails, texts and conversations so we all can move on. Perhaps back in the day, communication was a slow waltz but today, we are all do-si-do-ing multiple messages. No one has time to linger in what anyone else has to say, I mean, I'm pretty sure email was invented because someone thought "you know what's annoying? talking to people."
I have a goal of two years and then I don't know what is next. I just know that something happens in two years. Who know, maybe the sky will fall which is fine by me because I keep getting emails about attending seminars about how to plan for retirement. I can't even plan dinner yet I'm supposed to plan for something twenty years from now? My 401k plan is the world ending. In two years things will be different but today, how do I achieve a level of perfectionism that is realistically unattainable. I feel like I have to catch the tooth fairy and it would be easy if such a thing existed. Why is it so important for some people to have things absolutely perfect? don't get me wrong, I'm not dismissing the art of job well done or suggesting to settle for "meeting expectations" but shouldn't we gauge what truly needs to have the highest level of detail versus the not so big small stuff. How does lil ole imperfect me exist in a world ran by a giant perfectionist? Take a deep breath, stay tuned and wish me luck!
